serenity brownies. its not just about baking.

i sit here still licking the last of the batter off the spoon like i did when i was little. waiting as the windstorm's force is threatening to call off this whole brownie making process and make me sit in the dark with a bowl of half melted chocolate and a belly aching for ooey gooey goodness. but, i think i might be safe. with the brownies in their right place (in a 350 degree oven nestled in a perfect cradle of parchment paper and pyrex) and the smells wafting, i think i accomplished my goal. true, the obvious eventual goal is to indulge a late night craving of double chocolate heaven, but as is the joy of baking for me most of the time is that i was able to... go away. some may call it their "happy place", some refer to it as "me time"... whatever it may be to you, it was a place where bills & budget spreadsheets dared not enter, a place where little fingers were not licking every surface that they may think would be sugar (but they wind up dissapointed, but not detered when they find its only baking soda) and a place where i can just be. my mind thinks about the texture of the pecans, the velvety river, no- placid lake of butter and semisweet baking chips melting into eachother and the beautiful way that dark cocoa powder incorporates with stark white flour. made me think about whipping cream with cocoa powder in it- taking it from plain to rich. "hmmm... i think i will make a double chocolate cream pie- complete with chocolate whipping cream for our church's agape feast..." anyway, back to my serenity brownies. i kept thinking about that during the baking process- what movie is that from: "serenity now."? well, i found it. with the timer due to beep in just a few mins, i finally found what i was looking for at the end of a long day. where i used to pick up a paint brush to a canvas to escape to a thoughtful place, now, my tools are a bit more readily available in short small windows now that i am a mom to two precious little ones. a kitchen aid, some quality baking chocolate and lots and lots of butter (yes, Julia, you are so right) i am free to make a creation even if it won't last till morning.

*here's the recipe. i added pecans instead of walnuts and 1tsp of instant espresso powder to enhance the wonderful cocoa taste. enjoy, and hopefully you can tap into your "happy place" whether in eating them, or making them.