entirely melancholy indulgent and sad. do not read if you want lighthearted. you were warned.
excerpt from this morning's journal:
time is a rambling vicious beast. i collect little vessels of time passage. there are tupperwares, vases, milk jugs and ziploc baggies with masking tape dates marked on them in my mind. for example, in the dairy case at the store, i make a mental note that the expiration dates i see are that much closer to October than the present moment. how many more pages in my devotional until the fall? the thickness, though smaller than the width of my pinky becomes a concrete brick on my chest. sigh. no matter how you slice it, 6 months and 14 days seems like a chasm that never closes. so you see, without even trying, my mind runs on a ticker (like the old fashioned train stations making the loud clicks as the flaps change the time/destination) a never ending countdown. its not that i want to live this way! my heart wants to be satisfied in the moment, thankful to God for each breath and sunbeam... not reaching and yearning for something on the horizon.
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| photo credit: surfer girls by kelco |
(as a brief explanation, my husband is incarcerated and has been since 2011, and will be home, Lord willing, October 3, 2013)
Ashley I pray for you, Dirk and your beautiful kids every day. I know that the Lord holds you close to his chest during this time. I pray for an easy transition when the family is reunited. We adore ALL of you.
ReplyDeleteJenn, your unwavering support throughout all of this has meant so much. Bless you and your sweet family as well.
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