it's only temporary

This weekend I had the privilege of stumbling upon the temporary installation of Bob Seng and Lisa Hein's colorful piece in the shadow of the Space Needle. Upon further inspection you see that the translucent "glass" is actually household Jello. The plaster/concrete framework is built, then pre-formed "bricks" of fragrant blueberry, raspberry, grape, orange and other flavors are inserted from top to bottom. It is a de-evolving work, as it melts and oozes slowly as the firm, new jello looks down with scorn on it's disappearing neighbors below.

Such a joy was it, to speak with Bob as he brought me behind the installation and showed me the unremarkable simple materials used to make such an eye-catching presentation. I asked him if the concreted framework would be all that was left of the "body", a skin and bones skeletal system of what once was. The devastating answer was that they planned to deconstruct the entire installation at the end of the weekend. No remnants left behind. They would return to their homes in New York and continue to make other evolving art elsewhere.

Two thoughts hit me. Frustration at the disappearance of the piece and self-disgust. The former is understandable- I want to see it for longer, and even liked my idea that the piece would evolve and change with the seasons... But where I found my own self lacking was the inability to put so much work, passion, love, talent and time into something that will be gone in a few days. It takes a humble and amazingly open-handed person to be able to birth a piece of art and then take it out of this life just as you had brought it in. This type of temporary art immediately brought to mind the natural sculptures of Andy Goldworthy and of course the grandiose installations of Christo & Jeanne Claude.

The temporary nature of their art has much in common with Tibetan sand paintings or an ephemeral Andy Goldsworthy sculpture. Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s installations don’t generate a permanent, lasting artifact, but a fleeting experience for all who are lucky enough to encounter their work. It’s as much about process as it is about the final product (and the “process” includes navigating the red tape of environmental studies, government permits, etc.)  -(Michelle Aldredge on Cristo & Jeanne Claude and Goldsworthy)

I do suppose, however, the culinary world is much the same. You pour hours into a batch of croissants, Tarte flambée, or a Tandoori Chicken dish only to have it be consumed and no more... So in a way, maybe there has to be a generous dose of humility blended into the art of cuisine.

I am more

(because of You) I am more

more than a circumstance I cannot control

more than an ox with a burden

more than a series of catalogued mistakes

more than an broken soul crying out

I am more than

‘just’ a woman in a pair of high heels
more than ‘just’ a mom, exhausted and fulfilled
more than a set of morals & pleasantries

more than an embarrassed, clumsy, graceless, loud & unruly child

Because of You

I am peaceful

I am weightless

I am forgiven

I am redeemed

I am unconditionally loved

I am understood

I am KNOWN

I am embraced

Ashley Jackson 2011

grass stains on a party dress

so, as much as i'd like to go to sleep, there is a concept that came to a giant mountain in my head as i lay in bed reading a chapter in Makoto Fujimura's book refractions, a journey of faith, art & culture. when he spoke about his largest installation "Golden Pine" commissioned by the Oxford House in Hong Kong, there was mention to his massive painting weathering, settling, and intentionally allowing the silver to tarnish over time.

this then reminded me of my art- while i have never applied gold leaf or intricate brush strokes to many of my paintings (think brash, bold moves and splatters of paint) I wouldn't mind it. but then again, my environment isn't conducive to "fine art"- my studio is primitive, cold and doesn't support museum like archival temperaments. so does this exclude me from the more sophisticated category and place me into a more volatile arts category, like that of Andy Goldsworthy, who uses mother nature at the canvas, medium and backdrop and is okay with the transformation and morphing of his creation- which inevitably dissolves in a hazy mist of ocean fog, a rushing tide, blowing wind or trampled by animal's hooves.

so, i got a new blouse at Nordstrom today (stay with me here). i've had a gift card from there for ages, so with a few events on the horizon, i felt like i had a (bit) of a handle on some vague fashion trends at the moment. (apparently bows, pleated skirts, and over sized shirts are in) i ended up having to return one shirt because it snagged easily. then i got home with blouse #2 and realize it scoots off the shoulders. intentionally, i am sure from the designer's perspective, but annoying to me. call me a boring mom, but i need my clothes to have function as much as fashion (ok, more function than fashion, actually) so how much does one put up with for the sake of beauty, aesthetics, etc.?

how much can we step outside the box we've been put in (age, demographic, society, environment, stage, maturity, etc) and find a tone that inspires others but also resonates within their core. i love some of the new sitcoms because while i don't work on a TV set (See: Up All Night & 30 Rock) i still find the comical leveling that reminds us how human we are that we get baby spit up on us and eat cheese puffs in our sweats on friday nights when it seems like everyone else is out partying it up. how much can i play joanna newsom to my friends without them covering their ears and still be normal enough to sit down to a game of mexican dominoes? how much can we share the Gospel in the world and understand the pain without indulging in the same vices?

these are just late night ponderings as i get ready to start a new painting and finding out just how eccentric i can be while still reaching the masses. do we just take out our good china (if i had it) and use it in picnics, wear tuxedos no matter the discomfort and perform to an audience that isn't there?

Visiting Art Dealers - Awesome video clips here

SEASONS

here is a jewel of a book that i checked out from the library for my kids. little did i know how i would fall head over heels with its vivid, iconic depictions of the seasons. fit for any age- i want to buy 2 of these books- one to set on the coffee table and one to take apart and frame pages. arguably the best whimsical decor i've seen thus far. what a bonus that i found a youtube video of it! enjoy!

art school

whenever reed and i paint or draw together i always love his creations over mine. he should be my teacher.

"mommy colors" reed paul jackson 2011

"mask" reed paul jackson 2011

"thursday morning" mom jackson 2011

i am a bunny and i live in a hollow tree...

 there is a season for everything and that especially means all things in the art and creative realm. my wonderful husband helped me realize this inclination that i had, and now it removes the "creative guilt" that sometimes overtakes me when i have left one endeavor for another. it also reminds me of my favorite book growing up as a kid, where the bunny basks in each picturesque setting of the seasons and describes each activity. i mirrored that style in regards to my creating seasons...

• in the summer i spend time sketching plans for the garden, getting my fingers in the soil and letting them be stained by the green of the grass and letting them dance over the grill or skillet as i saute fresh green beans or swiss chard. this season i let my inside passions go and walk barefoot.

• in the fall my mood changes to an energetic melancholy- what this looks like i can't explain. only that suddenly i want to read milan kundera, wear a skirt with a tweed blazer and walk the 'quad'. my canvas starts to look more like a real canvas with acrylic paint and charcoal on it. there is also a bounty of harvest and that leads me to milk all i can with the season's highlights. (i also learned to crochet and began to write more.)                        

• in the winter, for some odd reason becomes my deepest longing and need to experience a serious rendering of art. less in this time to i reach out for inspiration, but instead i dig deep and pour out. if i chronicle the past 5 years i see a history of this. standing out in my garage/studio with fingerless gloves huddling over the heat lamp, watching my breath as i sing at the top of my lungs a Bon Iver song (aptly named, too as it means 'Good Winter') and step back and sigh. it is in this season i received my first easel, showed my first pieces at a gallery and a festival, i sought out an amazingly talented encaustic mentor, and framed one of my biggest pieces to date. in this season, i come alive, i am ready- the cold brings out something in me. it affirms my hunch that cold cities produce true art and artists. (think Russia and Dostoevsky, Pushkin, Nabokov, think Seattle and all the amazing musicians, think Paris and A Movable Feast, painters and musicians alike, etc, etc, etc) this also becomes a cozy and perfect time to sew and create functional pieces for myself and loved ones.

• i like to lump spring in with winter somewhat in that we have a very non-distinct break from the storms and wet gray. but this is okay as the symbol of spring matters more to me and my art in that the birth and renewal of foliage reminds me of this life and how i am most alive when i have put to death the things of this world. ("for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live." romans 8:13)

as always, here's some music that is inspiring me at the moment: the National

aprons pt. 2

the ruffled, tiered apron was finally finished at 2am christmas eve eve. whew! what a project! the most time consuming part was hemming each of the ruffles and then gathering them. i modeled it after an apron i already have by the brand name "funktion".

why the church needs artists

an ever growing passion of mine is art and its role in the church. there are dozens of books i have yet to read on the topic, gazillions of artists yet to interview and be inspired by and more importantly, conversations between God and i on the subject that also remain untouched.

that being said, i have been blessed beyond words and exclamations from the following blog post found on The Gospel Coalition website. Here, Kristen Scharold articulates the necessity and impact that art has had in the Scriptures, the Church and artists themselves. She interviews artists as diverse as a rich tapestry, yet as passionate and driven as any artist you might see on the cover of PASTE magazine. (On that note, make sure you play the tracks scattered throughout the article) since i can't and won't regurgitate the whole article for you, i will give you the highlights and let you be inspired yourself- whether as a connoisseur, creator or supporter of beauty.

some quotes:

•  "The church has given considerable attention to Truth and Goodness, to theology and ethics. But too often beauty has escaped us, or we have tried to escape from it. This is partly because of its innovative, experimental aspect, its way of reaching for originality or a new way of expressing an old standard. In many Christian circles this is felt to be dangerous; the pursuit of beauty is seen merely as an option, and a seductive one at that, because beauty can be neither controlled nor programmed." -Luci Shaw
• "In truth, a very wise imagination, which is the presence of the Spirit of God, is the best guide that man or woman can have; for it is not the things we see the most clearly that influence us the most powerfully; undefined, yet vivid visions of something beyond, something which eye has not seen or ear heard, have far more influence than any logical sequences whereby the same things may be demonstrated to the intellect."-George MacDonald

•  “This practical modern world is prone to conceive beauty as an extraneous luxury,” “We do not think of it as an integral and inseparable element of our living, as did the Greeks; or as did the Christians for many centuries. . . . .Beauty is an indispensable and logical part of practice and worship in the religious life.”-Charles G. Osgood writes in “Poetry as a Means of Grace.”

• "... Anyone can submit to beauty and art by simply learning to appreciate it. Learn how to read a novel or a poem. Learn how to listen to music and experience a painting. Support the artists in your community not just spiritually but also financially. Seek out creative and unsolicited ways to do this..."-Kristen Scharold

some inspiring people:

• Hans Norlund- a local christian artist and founder of Tacoma Academy of Fine Art
• Aaron Youngren- now the lead pastor of The Line church in Lincoln Park
• Makoto Fujimura- as his website states "artist, writer, catalyst"

some books/articles to read or show to your pastor:

• A Letter To North American Churches by Fujimura
• Art for from and facing the church
• Christians In the Visual Arts
• For the Beauty of the Church: Casting A Vision for the Arts by W. David O. Taylor
• Visionaries Working to Redeem the Visual Arts Within the Church 

M.K.

serenity brownies. its not just about baking.

i sit here still licking the last of the batter off the spoon like i did when i was little. waiting as the windstorm's force is threatening to call off this whole brownie making process and make me sit in the dark with a bowl of half melted chocolate and a belly aching for ooey gooey goodness. but, i think i might be safe. with the brownies in their right place (in a 350 degree oven nestled in a perfect cradle of parchment paper and pyrex) and the smells wafting, i think i accomplished my goal. true, the obvious eventual goal is to indulge a late night craving of double chocolate heaven, but as is the joy of baking for me most of the time is that i was able to... go away. some may call it their "happy place", some refer to it as "me time"... whatever it may be to you, it was a place where bills & budget spreadsheets dared not enter, a place where little fingers were not licking every surface that they may think would be sugar (but they wind up dissapointed, but not detered when they find its only baking soda) and a place where i can just be. my mind thinks about the texture of the pecans, the velvety river, no- placid lake of butter and semisweet baking chips melting into eachother and the beautiful way that dark cocoa powder incorporates with stark white flour. made me think about whipping cream with cocoa powder in it- taking it from plain to rich. "hmmm... i think i will make a double chocolate cream pie- complete with chocolate whipping cream for our church's agape feast..." anyway, back to my serenity brownies. i kept thinking about that during the baking process- what movie is that from: "serenity now."? well, i found it. with the timer due to beep in just a few mins, i finally found what i was looking for at the end of a long day. where i used to pick up a paint brush to a canvas to escape to a thoughtful place, now, my tools are a bit more readily available in short small windows now that i am a mom to two precious little ones. a kitchen aid, some quality baking chocolate and lots and lots of butter (yes, Julia, you are so right) i am free to make a creation even if it won't last till morning.

*here's the recipe. i added pecans instead of walnuts and 1tsp of instant espresso powder to enhance the wonderful cocoa taste. enjoy, and hopefully you can tap into your "happy place" whether in eating them, or making them.

imago dei artists

artist: nate grubbs, series collection of absent space

having visited the church before, i was astonished at the sheer volume of talented artists in one space. with them gathering to worship God and responding in their creative way. i have written before that i feel closest to the divine or Imago Dei, Image of God when i am creating. whether it is a painting, pie, or piece of clothing. here are a few artists' works that caught my attention. there are so many more, so click on the image for their site in specific.

rachel austin, paper planes





erik railton, hue

an artist who reminds me of The Artist

a few years ago i watched a netflix documentary on an artist i knew nothing about, but quickly became transfixed. his name is andy goldsworthy. his medium is nature.

 

the thing that i love most about him as an artist is the patience that it takes to complete a piece. all of the elements come into play; the wind, tides, night & day, temperature, animals, and even his own physical limitations can add to and subtract from a work.
what would be hard for me is the extreme humility it takes to let a piece of work that you have literally poured your time, sweat and emotion into, only to let it die in due time. i am all about freezing a piece in time and keeping it forever to show how hard i worked on something. (look, look! look how good i am everyone!) the fluid, transient nature of his work speaks to me as a person in being able to let go. letting go of something you have put out there for yourself and others- be it a gift you've given to someone, a meal you've painstakenly made, or even a project that you (quietly) seek recognition from.

i want to know what it means to grow in Christ and be used as his hands and feet and seek no other recognition other than to give glory to Him. in works such as Andy's i see his talent, but to me, it also brings glory to the ultimate Creator who made such beautiful works too amazing to put in a frame.

ride my bicycle

fall sun streaming in

Ready Made

one of my vices is magazines. i feel like i can never have enough. i use them up, read them, cut them, file them... i pulled out a Sunset magazine the other day that was from Summer '04 and found a wonderful salmon recipe. when i was at the grocery store the other day, i walked down the long magazine isle and my eye browsed over all of the topics that i gravitate towards: crafts, gardening, fashion, organic living, cooking, chickens (yes, there are a few chicken publications that you can subscribe to via "Hobby Farms"), etc. i thought to myself, "i wish there was a cool version of Martha Stewart and Sunset combined..." maybe i should clarify to all you Martha & Sunset fans- i think those are actually cool, but some of the ideas, lets admit are for a little more 'well to do' or with much more time on their hands- say retirees. (Sunset, i don't necessarily need ideas for the chicest B&B to stay in Napa, or do i actually want to collect pricey china from around the world, Martha) SO! just as i was thinking this to myself, i came across Ready Made: "Instructions for Everyday Life". it was pretty on the cover with a picture of a Strawberry Rhubarb Ricotta Tart on a cute little antique dish.

here were some of the other topics they cover:

• interior design
• home design
• art
• food
• diy
• bedroom ideas
• home and garden
• lighting
• home organization
• sewing
• crafts
• hobbies

 basically everything i love! Kendall and Brittany, this seems like you, too... ;)

Textiles

I have a whole pile of fabrics, and little time, little talent to make all the things I want. I think the biggest success would be if I can make just one spring skirt that embodies cherry blossoms and rain on warm grass. This blue, airy rick rack fabrick evokes that feeling to me.

Still Life comes to life

the other day, on our day off, we put on a pot of coffee and a beatles album (the only vinyl we own right now)... we moseyd around and i decided to paint my first still life while waiting to prep another canvas... it can't be that hard, right? well, after frustrating attempts for my water line in the vase to look like more than sludge and wishing that like Cézanne I had done an opaque vase...

but instead, i plugged along. like most projects, i got tired halfway and left my post. later while dirk and i were watching tv, i heard Reed tinkering out in the other room. now, i rested on the fact that i explicitly told him that was "mommy's paint" and reed's paint was on the table. i was so confident that i said "wouldn't it be funny if Reed was painting all over it?" i thought it was funny at the time, because i didn't think he'd really do it. well, i came out later and saw him covered from head to toe in yellow acrylic paint (yellow ochre to be exact) including easel, floor, chair, and yes, the canvas. i was able to salvage it a bit with rinsing it off under water and smearing the yellow paint around. it gave it a nice.... "glow". i'd like to say that Reed ruined a good attempt at still life, but i can't lie, my rudimentary attempt was actually enhanced by Reed's hasty little hand. i still have a lot left to finish on the daffodils and vase that got smeared away, but here is the result. i wish i would have taken a picture of the yellow covered canvas. the vase and flowers were buried deep deep under layers of finger-smeared paint. the funny thing is (don't tell Reed) that it didn't really make me mad or upset. maybe because it was a crappy painting, but maybe cuz i am excited that he has such interest. i mean, hey, he stayed on the canvas (for the most part!) and didn't touch the walls or table.

let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of france

I awoke this morning to Reed's exclamations and babbling. When the baby comes, he will surely be out of the crib and into a "big boy bed". Until then, he wakes me up from a distance with the sweetest disposition I have ever known of. How can someone wake up smiling and laughing? Surely, that did not come from me.

Dirk insisted I stay in bed while he got Reed and went to make breakfast. I arose lazily an hour later to Amaretto coffee in the pot, Reed running to and fro with a full belly and Dirk sipping coffee while reading the Saturday paper. Ahh... If every day started like this, there would be no need for grumpiness. I lit a few candles, wiped down the counters, plugged in my glowing pumpkin and settled in to join the crew. The coastal rain (more like drifts of wet fog swept through) trickled and I could hear the chickens clucking right outside. They were low on food, so I let them free range today. There is nothing more satisfying than pouring your cup of coffee and looking outside your kitchen window to see them squaking and eating windfall pears and apples that littered the ground.

I am just about ready to take on a new media for my art. I won't disclose the materials just yet, because I am cautiously curious to see if the medley of forms will take shape. Just wanted to encourage everyone else out there to bask in the simple fall rain, coffee in your hand, and family that surrounds. If you don't have any of those, come over here, we've got lots to share.

Dirk is fully engrossed in the UW vs USC game and I am eager to be a cliche little wifey and make bratwurst with sauerkraut and carmel apples. To be honest, the food is an afterthought for Dirk, as he laments UW's defense. He humours me, though and gobbles it all down. Happy All Day Saturday Morning.


**A little P.S.: after reading this I basked in the fact that we may be poor, but we sure are blessed. While running errands this morning, the Ingrid Michaelson song: You & I was blaring through my car. I thought I'd share it with you. It makes me happy because I love spooning, the south of France, and dancing. Listen if that all sounds like incoherent babble.